Choosing our Focus

We have the responsibility to choose our focus. We can choose to focus on others. Satan desires that we focus on ourselves. In spiritual warfare, we often find the battle ground to be the temptation to please ourselves. Kevin began talking before he came through the doorway. "My wife is bitter toward me to the point where she even quit reading her Bible." As his story fell from his lips, his previous statement began to make sense. A job transfer sent him to a state where his wife for years had longed to live. He was the first to relocate to the area and he began looking for a house to buy. He found what he thought was the perfect house; he had his wife fly in to look at the home, and she fell in love with it. In her mind she had already arranged the furniture when he suddenly had a change of mind. He decided it would be better to rent a house and look around for a while. After a year in a rental home the house sold out from under them. For the next three months they split up the family with relatives while Kevin looked for another rental house. As Kevin and I talked, what became most apparent was the fact that he had raised expectations in his wife's heart and then shattered them. He had "sold" her on the idea that his dream house would be where they would live out their lives. I quoted the proverb "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Proverbs 13:12). I also told him that he was responsible to honor his wife. In this case, his refusal to provide a decent home to live in was dishonoring to her. As I spoke, the Lord brought to his mind other times he had done the same thing. His marriage was marked by broken promises and looking out for himself. The Holy Spirit led Kevin to repent of his sin and later to ask his wife's forgiveness. They went house hunting the next week. She is now a content woman in a house that meets her family's needs. He is a happy husband who has the respect of his wife and family. The enemy's lie was "You can change your mind and she will understand. It won't matter what you promised her; after all, you are her leader, and your wishes rule." God's truth is "He who swears to his own hurt and does not change...shall never be moved" )Psalm 15:4-5). Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.