The Importance of Friendship

"A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). One important subject the Proverbs deals with is the subject of friendship. A good way to translate the first half of the above verse is "Some companions are good only for idle talk."The second half of the verse tells us that "The friend who sticks closer than a brother is the kind of friend to seek and to be." Any other kind of friend or friendship is not reliable. To say a "Friend loves at all times" means there is no "Time out" in friendship. Faithfulness in the time of need, is the idea. A statement I have heard many times is "He was a fair weather friend." This describes the fact that friends are easy to find when things are going well. The true measure of friendship is how well they stick when things are not going well. The Greek Old Testament of Proverbs 17:17 reads "A friend will be there for you in every kind of time." The thrust of the verse states the purpose of life is not to achieve personal fulfillment but to be in a meaningful relationship with someone else. This means "Foul weather friends" are the only ones worth having. How do you know they are "Foul weather friends"? They stick around in foul weather. Even more important a "Foul weather friend" is the only kind worth being. One of the tragedies of modern life is the way we move to new cities or new churches or new jobs and abandon the people that made our lives meaningful in the previous place. We lose a vital function of a long time friend, namely a friend finding the best in you and nurturing you in personal growth. A true friend will also point out our blind spots. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." An important principle is knowing when it is appropriate and when it is not appropriate to "Dump" on a friend. Sometimes sensitivity to our friend's problems will tell us that it is not time to share our problems with them, but time to help them carry their load. Both parties in a friendship need to seek that kind of sensitivity toward the other. In doing so they will find the own needs for friendship met and they will not damage the friendship they so intensely desire. God instructs us as to what kind of friends to choose but just as important He instructs us as to what kind of friend to be. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church ministry.

The Reality of Spiritual Warfare

I have watched trends in Evangelical Christianity for the last 40 years. The Church from the time of Christ seemed to have been aware of an active enemy who sought to destroy the work of God. Satan is the "Thief who comes but to kill, steal and destroy." Numerous books have been published that alert the church to the enemies schemes and instructed believers in the battle. It seems to me that in the last few years many ministries have turned away from teaching about the enemy. I have numerous friends who serve in Scriptural Warfare ministries, they all tell me the church has become cool toward the subject of warfare. Some of this undoubtedly comes from a abuse of warfare teaching and extremest in the body of Christ. However, their abuse is not an excuse for our non practice of Biblical truth. I believe this gives the enemy a tremendous advantage in very troublesome times. Lets examine a few passages that deal with our common enemy. Paul said "In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold' (Ephesians 4:26-27). The word "Foothold" literally means "Place." Paul is saying that it is possible for us to allow the devil a place in our lives if we fail to speak the truth in love or fail to be emotionally honest. Anger that leads to bitterness and spiritual ineffectiveness is an open invitation to demonic influence (see II Corinthians 2:10-11). It is a critical need that each believer understand their vulnerability to demonic influence so they may have an adequate Biblical answer should they fall victim to "The Fowler's snare" (Psalm 91:3) or "The devil's trap" (I Timothy 3:7). Satan may well outwit us if we are "Unaware of his schemes" (II Corinthians 2:11). Spiritual believers don't grow out of coming under spiritual attack. As we grow in the Lord the enemies' attacks may well increase. Anyone who is doing damage to the devil's kingdom will feel his wrath. When we come under attack we must have the discernment to understand the nature of our attack. If we blame God, our confidence in Him will be shattered, and we won't submit to Him and resist the devil. I believe the Biblical balance in warfare is to gaze on Jesus and on occasion glance at the enemy. This is a good time for a glance. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Where Is Your Refuge?

Do you have a place to hide? Where do you go when you are down, in need of someone to listen, depressed, hurt, angry or lonely? In other words when life gets really crumby where do you go? Do you run to drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, throwing a pity party, etc? Where do you go to escape? Do you have a place to hide? King David found the perfect place. “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” Psalm 119:114. The song of old asked the question "Where can I go but to the Lord?" I can hide in the shadow of His wings (Psalm 91). To be in the shadow implies closeness. Psalm 90 says "The Lord is our dwelling place from all generations." The birds have nests the fox have dens and we as God's children have Him. Jesus said He is the Vine and we are the branches, if we abide in Him we shall bear much fruit. Again the theme of closeness and dependency comes to the forefront. A teenage girl learned a lesson through babysitting. She was babysitting a young boy, 8 o'clock PM came around and it was bed time. He, like most young boys didn't want to go to bed. She picked him up and she said "He was as stiff as a board." She said "It's hard to hug a stiff kid." The next day she baby sat a young girl. This young girls parents were going out of town for the day, the teenage girl ran to their house right after the morning church service was over. The mother of this young girl apologized, and said their little daughter was in the back yard playing in a mud puddle. Clean clothes were laid out and the parents left. The little girl really loved her teenage babysitter, and when she saw this young woman, dressed in her Sunday finest, she ran to her with open arms and threw her arms around her. Now two young ladies had to change their clothes. The teenager said "It's a lot easier to hug a dirty kid than a still kid." So it is with God, it's easier for Him to deal with our sin than for Him to deal with our stiffness. Stiff Christians don't hang around with God, they are self sufficient. So where do you go when you are in need? Stiffness is a defense mechanism you don't need. Surrender to the Lord and hide in Him. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, seminars and local church meetings.