Anger Really is a Choice

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. And give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:27-27). Anger is an emotional arousal caused by something that displeases us, or the emotion that comes when we feel we have lost control (Ephesians 4:26) Here the word anger is in the Greek imperative, Meaning there are some things we ought to be angry over, however not for long. The command to “sin not” cautions us against overindulgence, even in what may have started as righteous anger. Because of the human tendency to allow personal vindictiveness to permeate anger, the safeguard here suggested is to put definite limitations of time on the exercise of anger. Resentments are not to be harbored beyond the day in which they begin (see Psalm 4:4). Anger which is not curbed lays the person open to irrational and evil suggestions, and Satan is quick to grasp the opportunity. Unrestrained anger allows Satan to work through the “old man” and entice us to sin because so often our anger is not righteous. An emotional outburst escapes the control of the mind, and Spirit which influences it. Ephesians 4:23. In itself, anger is not a sin, because even God can be angry (see Deuteronomy 9:8, 20; Psalm 2:12; Matthew 21:12-13). However when a man’s anger smolders, the Scriptures call this malice. This same anger can suddenly burst forth and destroy, we call this wrath. The fire or anger, if not quenched by loving forgiveness, will spread, defile and destroy the work of God. According to Jesus, anger is the first step toward murder (Matthew 5:21-16), because anger gives the devil a foothold in our lives, and Satan is a murderer. Horace said “anger is momentary insanity.” Our Lord’s anger never lead to sin, because His emotions were kept under perfect control. Passionate feelings against people or their actions are not to be kept long, lest they break down the love that seeks to bring good out of evil. Anger may progress to unforgiving attitudes and on to bitterness, the two most formidable walls to reconciliation. If not torn down, they will form an impassable barrier to loving unity. (See Proverbs 12:16). “The wrath of man works not the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). We must make Christ like adjustments to the irritating circumstances in our lives. We must realize we never need to be in control, because God is in control. We read in Ephesians 4:27 “Don’t make a habit of giving place to Satan.” In 1 Peter 2:1, 2 we are told plainly to lay aside our hostilities if we are to grow as Christians. God’s method of erasing hostility is forgiveness; this involves dying to the need to avenge. It is easy to hold a grudge against someone who has offended, but God expects us to rid our minds of our anger feelings before they have a chance to be repressed. Proverbs 22:24 says “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shall not go.” Proverbs 19:11 says “The discretion of a man deferrers his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Three main sources of sinful (inappropriate) anger: 1. Anger that results when one’s selfish demands are not being met. The more selfish, the angrier. 2. Anger that results when one’s perfectionist demand for control is not being satisfied. 3. Anger that results from suspiciousness. Six groups of people who are often the object of anger. 1. Parents. 2. Ourselves. 3. Repressed anger toward God. 4. Our mate. 5. Those in authority over us. 6. Others, peers when we were young. It’s time to leave all vengeance with God. Never try to get even with anyone, including yourself. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Overcoming the Enemy's Lies

Sometimes Christians know the source of true freedom, but cannot apply it because of sins of parents or others that leave lasting wounds. What can they do? Arnold grew up with an angry, alcoholic father. Though he longed to bond to his father, all he received was neglect, criticism, verbal mistreatment, and physical abuse. Arnold remembered at age seventeen standing in the kitchen and in total frustration screaming at his father, "I can never please you, no matter how hard I try. No matter what I do, it's never good enough!" Years of abuse, neglect, and criticism took a toll. At age thirty, Arnold would weep uncontrollably every time he made a mistake. Often, when he "flubbed up," he would hear the echo of his father's voice in his heart: "You stupid idiot, you can't do nothing right." When Arnold was young, his father followed such devastating words with the sting of a belt or the bash of a fist. Just recalling the memory in my office caused Arnold to shake all over. The tears would then stream down his face. He told me that over the years he had been unable to hold down a job, the fear of failing so paralyzed him. Despite these setbacks, Arnold was sensitive and intelligent. He accepted the Lord at a young age. His mother was a quiet Christian woman who stayed with her husband despite his abuse. She suffered as much as her son and put up with other sins. Like infidelity. His mother told me she remembered Arnold's father becoming angry when Arnold was one year old. The boy began crying for long periods. One day after slapping Arnold several times, his father threw him and his car seat across the yard. I spoke to Arnold gently of his need to trust the Lord, but that became a major hurdle. He said, "If God couldn't set things right when I was a child, how can I trust Him with anything now?" After thirty minutes of weeping during our first session, Arnold calmed down enough so he and I could pray. The amazing thing here was that not only was Arnold a believer but he had also served in a Christian ministry before becoming totally dysfunctional and unemployable because of his depression and despair. Two years ago he decided he could no longer wall off the awful memories of his past. Several people encouraged him to seek counseling. By the time he came to our office he was desperate to find real freedom-to live, to work, to give. To find real freedom, Arnold did what many must do: He forgave his dad. I could see the struggle on his face when he know he must do so. Finally, bowing his head and shaking with grief, he forgave his dad. In tears, he released the pain and offenses to the Lord. He asked the Lord to take back the ground given up by his bitterness, anger, and lack of forgiveness. "God, please forgive me, my dad, all of us!" This became the beginning of a process in which the Lord revealed deep-seated lies in Arnold's heart. As we prayed, the Lord began to speak to Arnold in a still small voice. In the end, God revealed to Arnold nineteen lies he was believing, everything for "sex is dirty" to "you are hopeless; God can't help you." Nineteen lies! They were piled there in his heart like so many logs on a bonfire that consumed him with anger, depression, and despair. As we dealt with each of those lies, though, Arnold found real freedom and praises God today. As he continues to renew his mind in the Scriptures, the remaining pain and bondage of the past leaves daily. Again, true freedom often means forgiving those who have hurt and offended you. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

What is Freedom

What then is the freedom we seek? It's the ability to live our lives in obedience to the Holy Spirit. The enemy's plan is to lie to us to get us to live in our power and desires-to live in the flesh. Living life this way leads only to more sin. This actually renders the believer entirely incapable of advancing the kingdom of God. Satan loves that. In contrast, Jesus offers us truth and grace, the two spiritual realities that lead to freedom. Truth is the direction God desires to take us, and grace is the means He uses to get us there. I say this in the case of Shelton. He came to my office moderately depressed, and surely mentally tormented. He had met his wife nine years before, after they had corresponded for a year by mail. Shelton knew from this that there had been one sexual relationship in Susan's background. It was not an issue for him; it took place before they were married and it did not bother him that she did not come to the marriage bed a virgin. Both of them had been saved about the same time. So for eight years their marriage had been blissful. The Lord gave them three children. However, Susan came under conviction that she needed to clear the air concerning some past issues. She finally told him that there was not simple one relationship but several dozen intimate relationships before she had met Shelton. Upon this admission, the enemy stole in and played upon Shelton's hurt and fear that followed the revelation. "You did not marry a wife; you married a prostitute," Shelton told himself. Although he knew all those relationships had been forgiven by Jesus Christ, Shelton still lived in a state of sheer mental torment. He said, "I can't even stand to look at her. If it were not for the children, I would divorce her." I knew that I was dealing with a problem where quoting Scripture would not be meaningful because the emotional baggage and trauma that he carried was overwhelming his thinking. So I said, "Let's pray." I began to cry out to God and said, "Concerning your dear wife, I am going to ask God the truth about her. Is she a prostitute or a forgiven woman?" In a matter of seconds, the Holy Spirit spoke to Shelton's heart and said, "She is pure by My [Christ's] blood." Then Shelton sensed the Lord saying, "But you have become defiled by not accepting what God has declared as clean. You have allowed the enemy to defile your own heart. "Shelton's extremely harsh judgment of his wife's actions before salvation had inflicted such bitterness on his soul that he was actually destroying himself. As I prayed and then Shelton prayed, God uniquely brought His grace and truth into Shelton's heart. He cried out to God to help him forgive his wife and release her and to allow the peace and joy of God to replace the bitterness and torment in his heart. God did exactly that. Through his tears, Shelton said, "I think God has released me and my wife from our sin!" Shelton went home that day and embraced Susan, asked her forgiveness, and they both had a quiet night of restoration, redemption, and love. I believe God salvaged their marriage that day in my office. God used truth to take Shelton where He wanted him to go, and He used grace as a means to get him there. That day the enemy lost a key battle. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing Whom to Love

We have all heard that love is a choice. Spiritual growth leads to a level of life in Christ where we experience forgiveness, joy unspeakable, and the glory of God's presence. Loving Christ results in obedience, and obedience leads to worshiping God and loving others. We become peacemakers. We learn to endure in doing good. We stop "returning evil for evil" and, rather, we "return good for evil." The fruit of the Spirit characterize our lives. We begin choosing for God rather than against God. Even as we choose to love, we recognize the unseen spiritual powers that oppose us (Ephesians 6:12). They will counsel us to lash out, hate, hold grudges, seek revenge, push people away, and do all kinds of nasty things that hurt relationships. When we recognize that such thinking is the essence of spiritual warfare, we can begin to deal with it in the Lord's power. We also will find comfort, even healing, in our lives. The choice to love proved to be healing and transforming in Andy's life. He looked angry enough to spit bullets. As he told his story, I could understand his frustration. An injustice had occurred against his son, and it included verbal and physical abuse. But Andy's response was also excessive. He was full of anger, perhaps even hate. Rather than love and forgive, Andy sounded like he was ready to level the offender. "Last Sunday afternoon at church, while my wife was at a ladies' function, this idiot was watching the kids while they played in the gym. My son stepped outside the door to get a drink of water. My boy was unaware that he needed permission to get a drink of water. "Then this guy in charge grabbed him by the arm, dragged him back into the gym, and threw him down on the bleachers. He then proceeded to give my son a tongue-lashing in front of the other children and refused to let him get up for the next two hours. The guy even refused him permission to use the bathroom "I called him on this after the next service. This man then blasted me about what a creep my son was. "Last week four other people who had the same problem with the man-a true idiot-called to offer their sympathy. The grapevine works quite well at our church. I really want a piece of this guy. What should I do?" I don't normally give advice on how to take people down, so I quickly decided to move the conversation in a new direction. I told him I have experienced similar problems over the Years, so I could in part identify with how he was feeling. It was then I brought up the subject of forgiveness. I explained how Andy's bitterness was not only obnoxious but hurting him. Given time, it would "defile" or "stain" others around him, including his own son (see Hebrews 12:15). Andy trembled a bit. I wondered if he actually sensed the serious nature of his bitterness or if he wanted a "piece of me." But he nodded agreement: he became calm. Then the Lord granted him grace to forgive. The bitterness was swept out of his heart and it was replaced with the love of God. His twelve-year-old son found it quite easy to forgive the same man. Four years later, Andy wrote and explained what he did after he left the office. Dr. Copley, "I began praying for the man I was previously bitter towards. The Lord prompted me to pray that he would develop a love for children. Last Wednesday evening the same man gave a testimony in prayer meeting. He told how the lord had given him a deep love for children. That love became so strong that he and his wife chose to have a child of their own. He went on to tell about the blessings his little son had become to him. He is truly a changed man, and so am I. I am learning that the very thing God wanted to use to bless and strengthen me-my son-the devil tried to use to make me bitter. Andy had learned that the grace of God is greater than any sin. I believe the thing that is killing many believer's testimonies today is bitterness. When a believer is bitter, his attitude has the effect of saying to the enemy, "I have an opened a door of my life to you, so come and influence me." The Lord's answer to bitterness is always forgiveness. This is a sign post of love. Forgiving others when they despise us (or despise those we love) is supernatural. And it comes from having an agape love that will love others no matter what. Ultimately, giving love-and forgiveness-is a real choice each of us must make nearly every day. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing our Power Source

There are various choices we must make in the battle: (1) to seek and heed wise counsel; (2) to focus on other people; (3) to respond rightly to tough situations; and (4) to pray for God's help. There's a fifth choice we must make: to decide what power source we will rely on. Will we run on God's power-the Spirit of God filling and leading us-or will we seek other sources of power, such as drugs, alcohol, revenge, or hatred? Choosing the right source of power is essential to spiritual peace and success. If our source is God, He offers many resources to empower us in the spiritual battle. Among them are knowing the Word of God, time in prayer, and the ability to have personal holiness. But if we cease to "plug in" to the right sources of power, the other elements of our relationship with God become murky. The choice of the right power sources hit home to me in the case of Phil. As he stepped into my office, Phil looked like a whipped puppy. He sat down and exclaimed, "I feel that I have died spiritually. I can't pray and the Bible is as dry as sawdust. I need help." The lack of spiritual deadness was a lack of scriptural input in his life. The lack of spiritual power in Phil's life was much more than that. And as a Bible college graduate, he was both frustrated and puzzled. His wife and he were rearing three wonderful children. But his job gave little joy. When I asked him about the workplace, his eyes turned dark and he scowled. "I hate my job," he replied, his voice dripping with bitterness. "The guys make fun of me because I am a believer." We looked at several passages of Scripture that instruct us to rejoice in the midst of persecution. Somehow, though, I didn't sense this was really the problem. I encouraged Phil to be transparent with the Lord and open up with me. Suddenly, Phil began to weep. A confession followed: "I gradually became complacent in my walk with the Lord. In time I quit reading the Bible and praying. I continued to attend church for my wife and children's sake. However, I began to look at some of the pornography that litters the walls of the office where I work. There is a young woman who works at the front desk. She began flirting with me. In time I started flirting back. One day I kissed her in the supply room and that's when I really became afraid of where I was going. The problem is, I don't know how to get back to where I belong with the Lord. No Scripture. No prayer. Looking at lust-producing pictures. "Innocent" flirting and a stolen kiss. All those actions-and inaction's-would push God's presence to the margins of Phil's life. We spent some time in prayer in which I asked the Lord of open Phil's heart and help him genuinely repent. In a matter of minutes, Phil confessed the sins of breaking fellowship with the Lord, prayerlessness, and lack of Bible reading. He went on to ask the Lord to forgive him for looking at pornography and the lustful desires toward the young woman at work quickly followed. As we prayed and talked, I saw his face light up. Peace and joy from the Lord came into his heart and he exclaimed, "I'm free!" Phil has changed vocations. Today he is the senior pastor of a growing church. He understands the wiles of the devil, and he has as great big heart full of love for struggling people. He tells his story to them as both an example of a prodigal son who came back to his Father and a heavenly Father who welcomed him with an embrace and a party. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Your Choices and God's Power

Marriage has its tensions. Each partner may at times fail or wound the other. But love will forgive. Lonnie and Jane were about to learn that as they stepped into my office for counseling. "I don't want to be married anymore," Lonnie said during our first visit," Lonnie blurted out this statement, with Jane seated nearby. I had seen Jane a year earlier and was able to lead her to the Lord. She had become a growing believer and was committed to staying in the marriage. I'd known about Lonnie's feelings through his wife; now I responded to Lonnie's statement by asking the question "Why do you want a divorce?" "because she did two things that I am angry about. She told me she planned to leave me two years ago, and she said nasty things about my children." This was Lonnie's third marriage. As we talked, I felt led to show them Scriptures about repentance, confession, and forgiveness. I could see that his wife was in distress but really didn't know what to do. I also sensed that despite Lonnie's strong words earlier, he really didn't want a third marriage to go belly-up. As we talked, his wife asked for forgiveness about the things she said that had hurt him. Immediately, Lonnie granted it. Often it doesn't happen this way; many times forgiveness is a process one must meditate on, talk through, and finally reject or accept. It is a choice each person must make-a choice that comes only through the supernatural power of Christ within. "Well, I don't really want a divorce; I want help," Lonnie finally said. "I feel like a scared little boy inside. I'm afraid other will laugh at me. I don't know to receive or give love. I need help." This admission led to Lonnie and me meeting one hour per week in a counseling/discipleship (counseling is just intense discipleship) relationship. Since that day he chose to forgive Jane, we've talked about many issues in his life, and I've shown him appropriate Scriptures. Amazingly, he can now pray with his family, and the love of Christ is healing his shattered heart. I'm specifically showing Lonnie who he is in Christ, and he is maturing as a believer. He feels a new power to love, and his wife has told me he's a new man under their old roof. In this subject of choices, you can see that Lonnie made a conscious choice in this situation. He chose to forgive. He chose to be vulnerable and ask for help. As a result, the Lord is meeting his needs in ways Lonnie never believed were possible. He recently said to me, "I have learned that marriage is a holy trio with God at the center." I have seen him move from that "scared little boy" to becoming a decisive person who wants to live for the Lord and serve Him in his work, his home, and his church. In counseling people like this, I have seen that much of our misery or blessing n life comes through our choices. Wrong choices eventually lead to dire consequences. Right choices lead to God's blessing in your life, even if that blessing brings with it other problems. Lonnie chose to let God's fruit come into his life by simply following God's principles for life. It's often as hard choice, but when thought through, when one seeks God, it's possible to turn as life around in radical ways. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing how to Respond

We have a real choice in how we respond to the daily situations of life. Many Christians exclude God and make terrible decisions when the circumstances of life intrude on them. Our lives can go from wondrous to disastrous in a moment, and we do not respond well. A parent has died. You've lost your job. You've learned a good friend is dying of cancer. How do you respond to such tough developments? Many Christians choose to respond by blaming God. They feel that God has "messed up" their happy lives like some kind of divine Grinch. Thus, when they face trouble, they have a true choice: to go God's way or their own. Some people refuse to go God's way, saying, "His way isn't practical" or, "It doesn't make sense." Some argue, "God's way is too hard." Thus, they reject God's directive. They exclude or ignore God in their decision making. You can be sure Satan will jump in at that point with his own alternative. How can we move in the direction of choosing God's answers for our problems? Through doing two things: knowing God and talking to Him daily. Almost every client I have counseled did not know who God truly, is. The enemy had distorted their perception of who God is; he still does that. In fact, every lie of the enemy is a distortion of either God's Word or His person. Furthermore, most clients I've counseled did not have a prayer life. People who drift away from God are never prayer warriors. They have replaced dependence on God with self-sufficiency, thinking they are masters of their own destinies-a big lie of the enemy that leads to prayerlessness. To counteract such lies, I try to help counselees build into their lives two resources: (1) a knowledge of who: God truly is, and (2) a dynamic prayer life. As we lay this twofold foundation, God fortifies us for the day of battle. The harsh situation you may be in may not be your choice; but your response is. The truth is that we have a choice about how we react in every situation. We can choose to trust God or blame Him; we can go His way our our way. But we are never "forced by circumstances" into some action. We can and must choose to trust God. Carol's problem reflects the unwillingness to let God control her life because she did not know Him well. She struggled with a sleeping disorder for twenty years and eventually ended up in a mental hospital, diagnosed as being schizophrenic. A doctor placed her on anti psychotic drugs, but after years of medication, another doctor said she was misdiagnosed; she had a bipolar dysfunction. When Carol changed churches, she learned her root problem might be spiritual. She told her minister about her treatments and the changed diagnosis. "My new pastor shared with me that mental illnesses may be real, but sometimes they are the results of harboring sin, bitterness, etc., in one's heart." At that point this pastor referred her to me. Carol waited several months for an appointment, and during that time the Lord began working in her life. Before her visit she sensed God leading her to a number of verses. One from Deuteronomy 10:12 was an eye-opener: "What does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul." During our first session, Carol was open and revealed her childhood experiences of sexual abuse. Carol felt justified anger toward the people who had hurt her and believed that anger, a form of revenge, was right. In the process of our sessions, God revealed this lie the Evil One had placed in her heart. At first, though, she struggled. Because of her childhood abuse, she felt a deep-seated anger toward God. In time, Carol forgave her mother and a number of other people. She repented of her anger and hatred toward those who had offended and abused her. And she repented of her anger toward God and for doubting God's willingness to keep His word. The morning after our session in which she'd expressed and done these acts, Carol told me "My time in the Word was sweet, God gave me a special verse. "Many a time they have afflicted me from my youth; yet they have not prevailed against me" (Psalm 129:2). The next week an issue between Carol and me came up. She felt I spent too much time teaching her about the issues of repentance and forgiveness and she became angry with me. That evening she attended a mid-week church service and heard her pastor say "When you are under pressure the real you comes out. Your choices reveal what you really believe. True repentance results in a change of heart, not just some modification of your behavior." Carol sat there stunned. Had the real Carol shown herself in her seeking to perform for God? Was doing the things to impress Him what really mattered her her? Was control the thing she always had to have in order to feel safe? That night, Carol repented of wanting to control every situation. She sensed God's forgiveness and for the first time she felt truly free. She had learned to accept doing things God's way, not her way. Later she wrote me about what she was learning through her times in the Scriptures and prayer: "God is teaching me how to die to self and surrender to Christ daily, I am learning in a new way that God is sovereign and in control....I have learned to allow Christ to live His life through mine. The Lord will continue to enable me to over come bitterness and anger in my life. Praise God, for only He could set me free. Carol saw for the first time that following God's way through her Scripture and prayer time fulfilled her. By submitting to Him, she would enter into His plan and live out the reality of life in Christ that she had always wanted. I marvel that God's Word and power can cause such amazing changes in as person's life. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Real Choices in the Real Battle

Willie approached me one day as I was leaving my office and said, "Please, we have to talk." One glance told me he hadn't slept well for days. His face was drawn and his eyes were bloodshot. As soon as we closed my office door, Willie's story unfolded. His father and he had begun a construction company fifteen years earlier. The father was to be the senior partner, but, Willie noted, "everything would be split fifty-fifty. I have worked hard and the company has prospered. The net worth is over a half-million dollars." Then, Willie explained, financial upheaval came, shaking the company and their relationship. "My father has recently made some bad investments and he is on the verge of bankruptcy. Last week he informed me that I was fired and the construction company was his sole property. You see, selling the company is the only way he can remain financially solvent. The real kicker is, he not only wants my half of the company, but he also wants the registration to several pieces of equipment that I bought out of my pocket. He now denies that we ever agreed on the partnership. He insists that I was only his employee, and he is threatening a lawsuit if he doesn't get the equipment." It's amazing what parents will sometimes do to their children. But it's not uncommon. Willie continued, "I am so angry, I kicked my dog and yelled at my wife and children. I can't sleep and I feel like choking my father. What can I do?" Willie was at a crossroads and had to make a choice. He was leaning toward hating his father; already he felt estranged. In his heart he felt his attitude was wrong. But what could he do? Willie had recognized a biblical principle: Choices begin with our thoughts. Evil always plants its seeds in the thoughts, then nurtures them so that they take root in the heart (James 1:13-15). What we think about, what we meditate on, what we dwell on will determine what choices we make at crucial points during the day. Jesus Himself warned of the relationship. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication's, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit..." (Mark 7:21-22). How does that work in our lives? If we (as men) look on women, imagining them with their clothes off (or even think of tearing off their clothing) and ravishing them, it's quite possible we could make the damaging choice to commit rape or adultery, look at pornographic images, or even treat our wives as lust objects. Similarly, if a woman envies another woman's fancy clothing, possessions, or attractive husband, this could lead to hatred, ill will, theft, and thoughts of adultery. Such devices are the tactics of the enemy. He will do anything to build a stronghold in our minds through our thinking. What choices, then, do we have when we begin to have selfish thoughts? How can we respond and resist temptations that come from within and are fed by Satan? That, in essence, was Willie's question. The first choice is to seek and heed wise counsel. We are not at the mercy of fate, or ill circumstances, or even our own stupidity. No, we can choose, when difficulties strike, to seek out help from relatives, church members, and others. This is an amazingly helpful resource that many people overlook. They say things like, "I have no choice about what to do." Or, "I'm caught! I can't go any way that is good!" But often, God opens up vistas we never considered, simply by our finding wise counselors-friends, pastors, or even actual counselors like myself. Rarely does God allow situations to come into our lives in which there are virtually no options. When Wille looked at me through bloodshot eyes and asked, "What can I do?" I admit that my first response to his predicament was to close my eyes and shake my head. This was difficult. Sitting up in my chair, I questions Willie on his ability to support his family. He was happy to report that the day after he was "fired" by his dad, he started another job with a ten-dollar-per-hour increase in pay. "How much are peace of mind and the ability to sleep worth to you, Willie?" "Priceless," he answered immediately. I thought of Willies buying equipment for the company and of his father threatening a lawsuit. Then I chose to remind Willie of the following words of Jesus: "If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also" ( Matthew 5:40). I explained that there has been misapplication and abuse of this verse, but I believed it applied in Willie's case. I even suggested that Willie sign over an extra trust to his father-which he said he no longer needed-to fulfill the "let him have your cloak also" part. Willie pondered, prayed, and then called his wife and explained the proposal. She wholeheartedly agreed this was God's will. Willie forgave his dad, repented of his anger and bitterness, and signed over the equipment. The peace of God poured into his heart, and the love of the Lord was reestablished in his life. Today Willie is happy, his wife and children live in a peaceful home, and even his dog is grateful. Willie's father's health broke in less than a year, and he is confined to a nursing home. What was the devil's lie in this situation? The great deceiver had said "Willie, fight for what is yours. You earned it. Don't back down; you have a right to be angry and bitter. Get your dad." In contrast, God's truth was "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:330. Willie confronted the temptation to "get" his dad. True, he has not regained the money he lost, but he has kept his peace, his joy, and his life, and his walk with God. What could be more precious than that? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

The devil and the duck

The Devil & the Duck There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his Sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes' But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?' So Johnny did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.' Sally just smiled and said, 'well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help? She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he Finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.' Thought for the day and every day thereafter: Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done...? And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that: God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen you r whole life... He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved. Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share this with a friend and always remember: God is at the window! When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

God's Perspective of the Wicked

"In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises" (Psalm 10:2). We are aware that as believers, we are by action and resource to demonstrate to the weak and powerless that there is a God of love. James wrote about Religion that is "Pure and undefiled consisting of visiting the fatherless and widows and to keeping oneself unspotted from the world." This involves showing mercy and compassion to the weak and helpless. God hates violence, intimidation, or any means used by the powerful to control, manipulate, or hound those who are weak. He absolutely loathes wickedness that is based upon the strong and the mighty preying on the weak and powerless. We find in the Scriptures that the Lord will take action against such people. In God's good time He will judge all evil acts. However, God also loves sinners, no matter how they act. Jesus died for the sins of the world and His desire is that "All men should come to repentance." Here-in lies a paradox for the believer. Loving the sinner and hating the sin, takes the grace, power and wisdom of God. I remember listening to the testimony of a pastor whose ministry was rescuing teen age run away girls from the clutches of their pimps. One pimp walked up to him on the street and sneered in his face with the words "I sell flesh." He said at that point he was greatly conflicted with the love for the sinner and hate-ward for the sin concept. He said were he God, there would have been less than a gracious response to this despicable human being standing in front of him. He said that night "Hell would have gained one more resident." The above example reminds us that God is God and we are not. This evil flesh peddler should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Reality tells us that often times criminals roam free, at least for a while. God tells us there is a judgment coming for all whose reject Christ (Rev. 20:11-15). However for believers to use passionate words of judgment against evil people, will often do more harm than good. Should we speak of their evil deeds let it be when we cry out, on their behalf, to the Lord in prayer. He is the One who can change their heart and save their soul. The wicked do not seek after God, nor do they call upon His name. They live without God. The cause of this is spiritual blindness and human pride. However, we are called by God to "Love and pray for our enemies." When we pray for our enemies we are doing for them, what they cannot do for themselves, for they have no basis on which to pray. There are many stories related of abused prisoners praying for their captors. I have heard some wonderful testimonies of those abusive, vile prison guards coming to Christ. God saved a Christian killing Saul of Tarsus, He is able to save anyone who comes to Him in repentance. Is there someone in your life tormenting you? How is your prayer life being developed because of this person? Is your tormentor experiencing the love of Christ through you? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Forgiveness

“For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:30-31). We should not be surprised that the enemies of God would also become enemies of those who are made in the image and likeness of God. We are commanded "As much as in you lies within you live at peace with all men." This means we must learn to be peacemakers. The balance comes in making peace with others without wounding our conscience or offending God. There are Biblical examples where peace making would not have worked. David and Goliath could not have lived in peace with each other. However David did everything possible to make peace with King Saul. The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend. Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers." The command to "Avenge not yourselves would be difficult to understand, were it not coupled with "Give place to God wrath." Should I seek revenge I am the one who is conquered, should I choose to forgive I am the conqueror. This is why the Lord tells us "Be not overcome by evil, but triumph over evil by doing good" (Romans 12:21). We are to "Give place" to God's wrath. Revenge is God's parking place, if we park in His place, we will experience some of His wrath. A tremendous example of forgiveness comes from the life of Corrie Ten Boom (1892-1983) she was born in Amsterdam and raised in the Dutch Reformed Church. When the Nazis came to power in the late 1930s, Corrie and her family hid Jews in the basement of their home. In 1944, Corrie's family was arrested and sent to Ravensbrück, one of the worst concentration camps in Nazi Germany. There, Corrie's entire family died. Corrie herself was scheduled for execution - but she was released shortly before the end of World War II because of a clerical error. Corrie concluded that God had saved her for a purpose. She committed her life to preaching the good news of Jesus Christ, speaking in churches, tent meetings, and open-air rallies. At one meeting in Germany in 1947, she taught on God's forgiveness. Afterward, a man came up to her and introduced himself as a former Ravensbrück guard - but Corrie needed no introduction. She remembered him well. He was notorious for his cruelty. "I've become a Christian since the war," he said. "I know God has forgiven me for the horrible things I did, but I would like to hear it from you. Could you tell me that you've forgiven me, too?" He put out his hand. Corrie stood there for what seemed an eternity, unable to think of anything but the horrors this man had committed. Then she remembered the words of Jesus that required her to forgive ANY sin. She silently prayed, "Jesus, help me!" ...then she took the man's hand and cried out, "I forgive you, brother!" She later recalled, "I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then." That was the defining moment in Corrie's ministry. Over the years that followed, she took the Christian gospel to more than sixty countries around the world and hundreds of thousands of lives were changed through her speaking, writing, and the motion picture The Hiding Place, based on her autobiography. If we want to be used in a great way by God, we must be willing to forgive those who may be a great source a pain in our lives. Is there someone who needs your forgiveness today? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

The Destructive Power of Sin

Have you noticed how much damage sin does in your life. Sin always brings death and destruction. John tells us the evil one comes to "Kill, steal and destroy." Sin in ones life gives a person a feeling of hopelessness. Sin grieves the Holy Spirit, and brings grief to one's soul. Sin brings us into bondage. We live in a society that is saturated with sin. Dishonesty has become a way of life. Deception rules the day. However the believer has hope. “For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; it is he who will save us.”- Isaiah 33:22. God is our salvation, he is the One who will pull us out of our present distress, or give us grace to keep on keeping on as we go through the trial with Him at our side. The scripture tells us He is our Judge. He knows us perfectly. We are often misjudged by others but not by God. Thankfully God judged our sin in Christ at Calvary. He is our Lawgiver, He is the One who sets His standards before us and He fulfills his law through us, by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is our King, He is the One who rules in our hearts. He is the rightful ruler because He made us and He bought us by the blood of Christ. We belong to Him and He takes responsibility for us and for everything that happens in our lives. How can you experience the power of canceled sin, by running to Jesus. Cling to the cross, repent of your sins and renew fellowship with the Lord. He is never distant from His children, He is always much closer than you think, for He lives in your heart. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

The Power of Forgiveness

The message God gave the world is the promise of forgiveness. The fall of man brought sin into the human race and it brought God's curse on the earth. Death and decay became standard fare. Struggle and sweat is now the lot of man. However "Where sin abounds grace does much more abound." David rejoiced when he penned, "If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." (Psalm 130:3-4). The truth is when we come to the cross the record of our sin is wiped away, it is blotted out, gone. I have been forgiven, stand forgiven and will remain forever forgiven because of the blood of Christ. I believe the Evangelical Church has the message of grace in salvation down pat. We preach that by grace through faith is the only way to get to heaven. We would scorn any teaching that added anything to the Gospel. We also are quite accurate on grace getting us to heaven. When a believer dies we assure his or her loved ones that this saint went into the arms of Jesus because of the grace of God. However, I have a lot of evidence that we don't always do so well in between salvation and heaven concerning the message of grace. One of the first things we do to a new convert is to tell them how to dress, act, live, think, talk, who to hang out with, where to go, how often to read the Bible etc. I remember many years ago I led a man to Christ who had waist length hair and huge hoop earrings. He came to church and a couple of weeks later asked to be baptized. I baptized him with waist length hair and hoop earrings. He had an insatiable hunger for the Scriptures. He told all of his friends about Jesus. In time, he took out the hoop earrings and replaced them with crosses. One Sunday he came to church with short hair and the earrings were gone. Nobody said a word to him about these external things. How he looked did not make the man, what was in his heart did. He later told me that he believed the Lord was telling him his witness would be greater if he dressed more like others around him. Early in his Christian life he grabbed hold of grace. Do you really believe you have been forgiven. You and Jesus can work on your sinful habits and tendencies together, and the process is much easier when you know you have been forgiven. There is a positional holiness which we have in Christ. There is a practical holiness that is worked out in our lives as we walk in the Spirit. The Bible tells us as we "walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." Have you accepted God's forgiveness? Do you believe you have been forgiven? Do you live a life that extends forgiveness to others? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

The Elder Brother Syndrome

In Luke 15 we have the story of a prodigal son who repented and an elder brother who did not.The account gives us insight into the heart of our Heavenly Father. When the sinful son came to himself in a hog pen he drew three implications from his sin. 1. He sinned against heaven. 2. He sinned against his father. 3. The son recognized that he was no longer worthy to be called a son-sin leaves us with an acute feeling of having lost the Fathers fellowship. When the son repented he headed back to his father. True repentance cannot be divorced from action. Repentance drives us to the arms of our Heavenly Father, who stand ready to forgive and restore. Note the signs that the prodigal had been fully restored to the status of son. 1. The signet ring, given so that the son could act in the name of his father. It was a sign of trust and authority. Luke 15:22. 2. The father did not mourn or regret the return of the son, he celebrated the restoration. The real point of the parable is the attitude and action of the elder son. Luke 15:26-28. The statement "There go I but for the grace of God," may be a statement of pride. Our view of sinners should be one of great sorrow, for they are lost. Only by purging the "elder brother syndrome" from the church can we ever hope to win the world for Christ. Serving God involves more than a slavish adherence to a legal code, it includes love for ones fellow man. We have no right to be selfish when it comes to the love and blessings of God.We have no right to hog God's grace. The elders brothers hurt feelings tumbled out in a torrent against the father. 1. It omitted any form of respectful address. 2. It spoke of his relationship as being less than a son, "Behold these many years I have slaved for you." 3. He reminded his father that he had always obeyed his commands. 4. He bitterly accused his father of having never rewarded him properly. 5. He indulged in character assassination of his brother. The bitter, unforgiving elder brother missed grace, he did not understand that grace is what the Lord does for us, not what we do for the Lord. Grace is the very thing that allows us to put up with the yokels that show up week after week in our local churches. The amazing thing about them is that they have been redeemed and they in truth are very much like we are. Really, the amazing thing about grace is they are able to put up with, accept and love us. That's God's grace in action and it's very attractive.

Spiritual warfare and relationships

Satan's power and control are contingent. He is dependent on our participation in sin. following the bent of his murdering nature, he wants relationships broken and/or distorted. How he does that varies from relationship to relationship. We must be careful not to give Satan to much credit-he takes advantage of our sin to bring breaches or build inappropriate dependencies, but he is not responsible for all of our bad relationships. God has set us free through Jesus to live in loving relationships with others. God is compassionate, a term which denotes the strong tie that God has with His children; He looks upon them as a Father upon His children; with a deep, tender love. He is gracious, which depicts a heartfelt response by someone who has something to give to one who has a need. He is slow to anger, His anger prolongs itself and is not quick to inflict punishment on the sinner, in order that he may repent. He is abounding in loving kindness (tender and benevolent affection; loyal covenant love) and truth (faithfulness) ("reliability, trustworthiness," the attribute of someone one can depend on, certainly, dependability). These two combine in a single attribute- loving kindness of truth, true and faithful loving kindness. He keeps, with complete faithfulness, His promises to shew loving kindness and bestow good. God keeps loving kindness for thousands. This takes off from Exodus 20:2-7, which states that God punishes sins to the third and fourth generations, but shows love to thousands of generations (the term implies a limitless number) towards those who love Him. How great is God's mercy in comparison to His wrath. This brings us to the question a Lawyer asked Jesus. In the New Testament our Lord answered a Lawyer's question as to which is the greatest commandment. "He answered 'love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;' and 'love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27. Relationships are at the center of the Christian life. The believers priority relation is to be with God, who desires a relationship of love with each of us. This relationship is responsive in that "We love Him because He first loved us." How do I know I am loving Him with my entire being? I am loving God most when I am abiding in a intimate relationship of trust with Him. A real need among believers is how to exercise discernment in relationships. Examples of wrong relational discernment is identifying with movie stars and patterning ones life after them, or becoming involved with pornography. One might simply use people wrongly for personal advancement or in other unethical ways. How does this work in the Church. Many fellowships have started down the slope that leads to relational destruction by demanding her members wear masks. What does a mask look like? It's the I've got my life together, everything is under control and all is just fine with me mask. Just let slip that you have spiritual doubts and confusion, try asking prayer for your daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock, or your son who is struggling with homosexual issues. Let your mask slip a little and expose some of your real self. You may be embraced by believers who are filled with the sweet love of Christ. However I have seen the pronouncement of "You are unclean, you are not welcome here," far to many times. Our relational discernment will have it's outworking in our love for God and others. The Holy Spirit is the relationship expert, allow Him through the Scriptures to develop in you relational discernment.