The Church, a Primary Resource

The armor of God. The Holy Spirit. The truth of God's Word. Holy living. We have seen many resources for fighting Satan's lies thrown at us during the spiritual battle. But one of the enemy's greatest lies is directed at one of God's greatest resources-the local church. The lie is: "Abandon the church. It's old-fashioned; you can serve God well enough without it." The trust is: The church is "the pillar and ground of the truth." (1 Timothy 3:15). The apostle Paul was direct: "The church of the living God {is} the pillar...of the truth." That means it is God's appointed institution to execute His program of witness, service, and building up of the saints. Jesus Himself said, "I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:18). The universal church, as expressed through the local church, serves as the primary bastion of defense and offense against the enemy in the world today. Winning souls, revival, spiritual warfare, discipleship, discipline, corporate prayer, and missionary endeavors are carried out under the leadership of the local assembly. The church brings converts into the body for nurture, growth, and instruction that includes training for the battle against evil forces. In that sense, the local church becomes the base of operations for these converts to invade Satan's kingdom and win souls to Christ. Because of this, Satan does attack the church, both its leaders and its membership. The warfare can be disheartening at times and seemingly brutal. Church splits do happen. But God will protect His chosen institution and often He does intercede in broken churches, particularly when His people pray. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing Whom to Love

We have all heard that love is a choice. Spiritual growth leads to a level of life in Christ where we experience forgiveness, joy unspeakable, and the glory of God's presence. Loving Christ results in obedience, and obedience leads to worshiping God and loving others. We become peacemakers. We learn to endure in doing good. We stop "returning evil for evil" and, rather, we "return good for evil." The fruit of the Spirit characterize our lives. We begin choosing for God rather than against God. Even as we choose to love, we recognize the unseen spiritual powers that oppose us (Ephesians 6:12). They will counsel us to lash out, hate, hold grudges, seek revenge, push people away, and do all kinds of nasty things that hurt relationships. When we recognize that such thinking is the essence of spiritual warfare, we can begin to deal with it in the Lord's power. We also will find comfort, even healing, in our lives. The choice to love proved to be healing and transforming in Andy's life. He looked angry enough to spit bullets. As he told his story, I could understand his frustration. An injustice had occurred against his son, and it included verbal and physical abuse. But Andy's response was also excessive. He was full of anger, perhaps even hate. Rather than love and forgive, Andy sounded like he was ready to level the offender. "Last Sunday afternoon at church, while my wife was at a ladies' function, this idiot was watching the kids while they played in the gym. My son stepped outside the door to get a drink of water. My boy was unaware that he needed permission to get a drink of water. "Then this guy in charge grabbed him by the arm, dragged him back into the gym, and threw him down on the bleachers. He then proceeded to give my son a tongue-lashing in front of the other children and refused to let him get up for the next two hours. The guy even refused him permission to use the bathroom "I called him on this after the next service. This man then blasted me about what a creep my son was. "Last week four other people who had the same problem with the man-a true idiot-called to offer their sympathy. The grapevine works quite well at our church. I really want a piece of this guy. What should I do?" I don't normally give advice on how to take people down, so I quickly decided to move the conversation in a new direction. I told him I have experienced similar problems over the Years, so I could in part identify with how he was feeling. It was then I brought up the subject of forgiveness. I explained how Andy's bitterness was not only obnoxious but hurting him. Given time, it would "defile" or "stain" others around him, including his own son (see Hebrews 12:15). Andy trembled a bit. I wondered if he actually sensed the serious nature of his bitterness or if he wanted a "piece of me." But he nodded agreement: he became calm. Then the Lord granted him grace to forgive. The bitterness was swept out of his heart and it was replaced with the love of God. His twelve-year-old son found it quite easy to forgive the same man. Four years later, Andy wrote and explained what he did after he left the office. Dr. Copley, "I began praying for the man I was previously bitter towards. The Lord prompted me to pray that he would develop a love for children. Last Wednesday evening the same man gave a testimony in prayer meeting. He told how the lord had given him a deep love for children. That love became so strong that he and his wife chose to have a child of their own. He went on to tell about the blessings his little son had become to him. He is truly a changed man, and so am I. I am learning that the very thing God wanted to use to bless and strengthen me-my son-the devil tried to use to make me bitter. Andy had learned that the grace of God is greater than any sin. I believe the thing that is killing many believer's testimonies today is bitterness. When a believer is bitter, his attitude has the effect of saying to the enemy, "I have an opened a door of my life to you, so come and influence me." The Lord's answer to bitterness is always forgiveness. This is a sign post of love. Forgiving others when they despise us (or despise those we love) is supernatural. And it comes from having an agape love that will love others no matter what. Ultimately, giving love-and forgiveness-is a real choice each of us must make nearly every day. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Growing in Christ is a Choice

A key arena in which we have the power to make real choices is in growing spiritually. Spiritual growth follows repentance. The enemy will do his worst to keep us from getting saved, but if that happens, he changes his tactics. Now he will do everything to keep us from growing in Christ so that we can be effective in building His kingdom. He hates what the theologians call "progressive sanctification," and what the Scriptures tell us is becoming more like Christ as we seek to know Him more and, by the Spirit, sin less. See, for example, these Scriptures: John 17:17,; 2 Corinthians 3:18: Romans 12:2; Ephesians 5:26; Philippians 1:6. Elaine received Christ as Savior when she was sixteen; for the next two years, however, her spiritual growth was slow and sporadic. When she entered college she almost forgot she was a Christian. She earned her master's degree in education and landed the teaching position of her dreams. However, being an educator didn't bring the satisfaction she desired. She came to my office within weeks of being "dumped" by the man she was engaged to. "I know I'm a Christian," Elaine stated in the first session, "but the Christian life doesn't work for me." She freely admitted that she did not read the Bible and rarely prayed. She also revealed that she struggled with bitterness toward her ex-fiance and was addicted to cigarettes. As I shared principles of freedom with her, the Lord opened her eyes and heart. She repented of pride (running her own life) and bitterness. She sought the Lord's forgiveness for harming the Lord's temple through tobacco abuse. She asked the Lord to take back the ground she had given to the enemy. Back home, she made Bible reading and prayer a daily part of her life. The Lord led her to a local church with a dynamic singles ministry. "I have been walking with the Lord for three years," she later told me," and He is changing my life. I am like an onion-He is peeling off the old life a layer at a time. But with each layer He removed, He's added to my life Christian virtue, increased godly desires, and greater knowledge of Himself. The Lord is doing what I am not capable of doing myself. He is causing me to grow into His likeness." Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Spiritual Warfare and Final Choices

The R word. Repentance is a concept with which even Christians at times struggle. It may be difficult for people to admit they're wrong, to agree with God that their attitudes and actions are sin. It's humbling to acknowledge to God-and often others-that your thoughts, words, or behaviors are wrong. Usually we must ask for forgiveness when we repent. And that's difficult, too. But that's the next choice we must make: Will we choose repentance? The enemy will do anything to keep us from this sacred reality. To repent means to "turn around, to change one's mind." Sometimes when we have sinned we do not recognize it; we do not acknowledge it. David realized this when he sinned with Bathsheba and wrote about his response to his adulterous actions in Psalm 38:13 "But I, like a deaf man, do not hear; and I am like a mute who does not open his mouth." David eventually was confronted with his sin of adultery and the subsequent murder of Bathsheba's husband-by a prophet, no less! (Read about it in 2 Samuel 12:1-9.) Like David, many of us have difficulty admitting we have sinned. We tend to deny, rationalize, or blame others for our sin/problems. We are like hypocrites who chant, "Faults in others I can see, but praise the Lord, there are none in me." The truth is that only repentance brings hope. God actually has a solution to our sin problems. Through a simple act of repentance, we can be set free and set on a new course as if we were starting over! That doesn't mean there may not be consequences of our sin, but it does mean with God there is always a second chance, and a third one, and a hundredth one! Our problem is when we sin we tend to justify ourselves. We choose to minimize the evil we have done. We may plead guilty, but always with a request to say something on our behalf. "Yet, but..." and "I understand, but please let me say..." But we must learn to accept responsibility for our actions, our misdeeds. A friend of mine found this out when he ran a stop sign. A policeman wrote him a ticket. He decided to go to court to defend himself. He told the judge that several cars ahead of him ran the stop sign before he did and they were not pulled over. He urged the judge, saying' "Your Honor, is it fair that the get off Scot-free and I get the ticket?" "Did you roll through the stop sign?" the judge asked. "Yes, I did," my friend was forced to admit. "Guilty," pronounced the judge. My friend paid the fine. In the same way, as long as we justify our sin or blame other, we are listening to Satan's lies. We will only be free of sin when we see it as God sees it, when we recognize and turn from our misdeeds. How do we do this? We must come into His presence and there remain until all our self-serving arguments collapse and we fully repent. Then, and only then, do we come to that single mind, which is God's mind. Ethel's sin was fear. Not fear of God, but fear of people and, to a lesser extent, fear of death. Those fears were prompted by an almost deadly encounter with a crime suspect. She called me one day from the psychological unit of the hospital. Her words came out slowly, deliberately, and full of pain as she related her story. Ethel had joined the police force of a major city after graduating from the police academy, fulfilling her childhood dream of becoming a law enforcement officer. But in her third year as a policewoman, she was confronted with a gun to her head. "My partner and I were called to as crime scene," Ethel told me. "The back door had been pried open. As I approached the door, a man leaped into the doorway with a drawn gun aimed at my head. He pulled the trigger on what was later identified as a .357 Magnum. The primer detonated but the gun did not fire. I fired before he had a second chance. He died in the hospital later that evening." Ethel was alive, clearly by the grace of God, and I thought this should have made her very grateful toward God. It Didn't. Instead, she said, "Since that day I have lost my confidence. I clutch in a crisis. Because of his I have made mistakes-enough to get fired from my job two days ago. Last night I took enough pills to, as my doctor say, kill a large horse; yet I lived. I see now that God has saved my life twice. But I'm confused. Please open your Bible and show me how I can have peace in my heart and become as whole person. The Lord me to discuss "The fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge," from Proverbs 1. taking about how "fear" really means "reverence and trust." Ethel soon admitted that even though she was a believer, she did not reverence or trust the Lord. From there, we talked about how the fear of other people can cause a Christian to stumble in his relationship with God. This made a lot of sense to her. It was then I moved on to what the enemy was doing in her life. I explained that fear is a tormentor, and the enemy was using her twin crisis-nearly being killed and taking a human life-to his own advantage. She nodded her head with understanding and said that for the first time in years, the need to trust God and not fear other people was real to her. Ethel recommitted her life to the Lord. I led her in prayer, and as we prayed, a window of understanding opened in her soul. She asked the Lord to take back the ground the enemy had taken in her soul. In the weeks that followed, we studied the Scriptures together, and Ethel continued to confess sin as the Lord brought it to mind. Ethel began to grow spiritually, and her growth reminded me of the jack-in-the-box I had as a child. When the lid opened, Jack sprang out of the box. In Ethel's situation, when the sin was confessed and the lies were removed, she jumped out of Satan's box and the growth in her life was almost instantaneous. Two years later Ethel said to me, "The Lord has put me in a desk job that I really enjoy. He has given me peace in my heart, and I now know I am a new creation in Christ. The fear is gone, and the Lord has replaced it with faith. That which Satan intended for evil the Lord is working for good." When you trust God with everything in your life, you need fear no one on earth, in heaven, or anywhere else! Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences and local church meetings.

Humility and Men

Submission means humility. And humility is the opposite of pride. The warning of Scripture is "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6; see also Proverbs 3:34). A humble, submissive spirit seems a particular challenge for most men. The male ego does exist, and many men are driven by it. I saw once again how this works in the case of Brent. "I've read warfare books, prayed steps to freedom, and I am trying to live the Christian life. What's wrong?" I sensed Brent's tremendous pride and knew what was at stake. We prayed together, and as I talked to the Lord, he said that the Spirit brought to his mind a "soul tie" he had with a married woman in his church. He had taken inappropriate sexual liberties with her. It did not lead to adultery, but he had truly "lusted after her in his heart," which Jesus called adultery in the Sermon on the Mount (see Matthew 5:27-28). In my presence, Brent repented of this sin. I then turned him to the pride issue. Brent was an attractive man and was always flattered when women gave him attention. Moreover, his own wife would become jealous of the attention, and this in some way brought Brent even more pleasure. I showed him through several Scriptures how this pride had hurt him and his marriage. Brent immediately confessed this entire sordid thing to the Lord as vain and asked for freedom from such pride. I watched as he humbled himself, even with tears. Today, he continues to confess the pride problem on nearly a daily basis. "The battle of self is not an easy one," he says, "for I have learned that I am my own worst enemy." This had made Brent feel distant from God. He now sees what had happened. "The Bible, says, 'the Lord resists the proud,' and I think God was resisting me," Brent said "When the Lord resist us, we have no power to live the Christian life. That gave the enemy an opportunity to offer his substitutes: lust, pride, money, et cetera. To day I am thankful to be walking in fellowship with Jesus because He gives me all the grace I need to live for Him successfully." Something else happened when Brent humbled himself. When he first visited me, his initial complaint was "There is something in my head telling me I will never be free; the voice keeps telling me it owns me. "What happened to that voice assuring him he would never become free? It is gone. When truth showed up, it had no debating points left. It simply left the field. How are your choices going this week? Spend some time each day talking to God about the choices you've made and the ones you have to make. He will give you insight and genuine help if you seek Him honestly.

Choosing to Whom we will Submit

When we not only submit to Christ's commands but make Him the leader of our lives, real intimacy with Christ develops. With this submission and intimacy come many resources for the battle: renewed faith, which dispels our fear; humility, which conquers our pride; self-sacrificing love, which overturns selfishness; and a greater willingness to please the Lord, which helps us overcome the power of flesh. When we choose not to submit, we are prone to several temptations, including an arrogant attitude, insisting on our rights to the harm of others, and uncontrolled anger. These all become spiritual battle grounds. The choice to become angry-and it is a real choice; we are never "forced" to become angry-can lead to a life of horror. Henry had this problem and came to me as a professing Christian. He said life was going well with one exception-his temper. As he talked, he told me about several times in recent weeks when he "lost it." One response startled me. "I was driving on such-and-such road when this jerk cut me off." Henry said, with a trace of irritation in his voice. "The jerk slowed down and refused to let me pass by keeping pace with a slow moving vehicle in the left lane. We came to a stoplight several miles down the road. I jumped out of my car and beat on the side window of his car. I swore at him and challenged him to a fight. When he wouldn't look at me, I became even more angry." His voice rising, Henry added, "That stupid jerk was wrong to cause me to get mad." At the end of his account, he paused. Then he asked, rather meekly, "Dr. Copley, what do you think?" I'm always somewhat taken back at what a person will do when angry, but I'm rarely shocked. I told him rather directly, "I think you have a problem controlling your anger. And if you don't get control of it, it will damage your life severely." Henry gulped, but decided to listen to me as a counselor and someone who truly wanted to help him overcome this problem. Over the next four weeks, I told him more of what I thought, a little bit at a time-I didn't want him to get angry at me! Such anger comes from many sources. Over time, I learned that Henry's father and grandfather also struggled with outbursts of anger. Henry learned it from these men and thought it was normal. This, of course, reflects an unwillingness to submit to others. The thinking is, "I'm in charge; he can't do that to me!" There's also frustration, attempting to control or regain control of a situation, lust, and the learned behavior of becoming angry whenever things don't go your way. Although feeling angry is not a sin, continual anger leads to bitterness or rage, which are sins. Paul warned, "Be angry, and do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26). Rage is what some people do when they do not know what else to do. For many people, it's the first reaction they carry in their emotional pocketbook. Regardless of the reasons for anger, though, the bottom line is that anger is a choice. In Henry's case, he chose to become angry. In fact, he lived on the edge of anger all the time, always ready to simply let it rip. In time Henry learned to cry out to God when situations came up that could lead to anger. To his delight he learned that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:23). As Henry learned to walk in the Spirit, he stopped giving in to the impulse to "cut loose." To conquer the wrong choice of anger, one must make the right choice of meekness, or gentleness. This marks a submissive person. But what about when one becomes so angry he sins in out-of-control actions? What can fix such a situation? God's answer is forgiveness. To forgive requires humility, another mark of a submissive spirit. And when we forgive others who sin against us or hurt us, the Holy Spirit cuts out the diseased part of our hearts, the part that would react with anger. It's a kind of spiritual surgery, as if God Himself had taken the knife and removed the offending organ. Through counsel, reading the Scriptures, and memorizing and applying specific passages about anger, Henry has learned to submit to God: to obey Him and His directives. He has learned not to submit to the emotion of the moment, the feeling of "righteous indignation's" (it wasn't righteous, but he often thought it was), and the desire to get even. It's all a matter of simple choice of whom you will submit to: God or the Devil. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing our Power Source

There are various choices we must make in the battle: (1) to seek and heed wise counsel; (2) to focus on other people; (3) to respond rightly to tough situations; and (4) to pray for God's help. There's a fifth choice we must make: to decide what power source we will rely on. Will we run on God's power-the Spirit of God filling and leading us-or will we seek other sources of power, such as drugs, alcohol, revenge, or hatred? Choosing the right source of power is essential to spiritual peace and success. If our source is God, He offers many resources to empower us in the spiritual battle. Among them are knowing the Word of God, time in prayer, and the ability to have personal holiness. But if we cease to "plug in" to the right sources of power, the other elements of our relationship with God become murky. The choice of the right power sources hit home to me in the case of Phil. As he stepped into my office, Phil looked like a whipped puppy. He sat down and exclaimed, "I feel that I have died spiritually. I can't pray and the Bible is as dry as sawdust. I need help." The lack of spiritual deadness was a lack of scriptural input in his life. The lack of spiritual power in Phil's life was much more than that. And as a Bible college graduate, he was both frustrated and puzzled. His wife and he were rearing three wonderful children. But his job gave little joy. When I asked him about the workplace, his eyes turned dark and he scowled. "I hate my job," he replied, his voice dripping with bitterness. "The guys make fun of me because I am a believer." We looked at several passages of Scripture that instruct us to rejoice in the midst of persecution. Somehow, though, I didn't sense this was really the problem. I encouraged Phil to be transparent with the Lord and open up with me. Suddenly, Phil began to weep. A confession followed: "I gradually became complacent in my walk with the Lord. In time I quit reading the Bible and praying. I continued to attend church for my wife and children's sake. However, I began to look at some of the pornography that litters the walls of the office where I work. There is a young woman who works at the front desk. She began flirting with me. In time I started flirting back. One day I kissed her in the supply room and that's when I really became afraid of where I was going. The problem is, I don't know how to get back to where I belong with the Lord. No Scripture. No prayer. Looking at lust-producing pictures. "Innocent" flirting and a stolen kiss. All those actions-and inaction's-would push God's presence to the margins of Phil's life. We spent some time in prayer in which I asked the Lord of open Phil's heart and help him genuinely repent. In a matter of minutes, Phil confessed the sins of breaking fellowship with the Lord, prayerlessness, and lack of Bible reading. He went on to ask the Lord to forgive him for looking at pornography and the lustful desires toward the young woman at work quickly followed. As we prayed and talked, I saw his face light up. Peace and joy from the Lord came into his heart and he exclaimed, "I'm free!" Phil has changed vocations. Today he is the senior pastor of a growing church. He understands the wiles of the devil, and he has as great big heart full of love for struggling people. He tells his story to them as both an example of a prodigal son who came back to his Father and a heavenly Father who welcomed him with an embrace and a party. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Your Choices and God's Power

Marriage has its tensions. Each partner may at times fail or wound the other. But love will forgive. Lonnie and Jane were about to learn that as they stepped into my office for counseling. "I don't want to be married anymore," Lonnie said during our first visit," Lonnie blurted out this statement, with Jane seated nearby. I had seen Jane a year earlier and was able to lead her to the Lord. She had become a growing believer and was committed to staying in the marriage. I'd known about Lonnie's feelings through his wife; now I responded to Lonnie's statement by asking the question "Why do you want a divorce?" "because she did two things that I am angry about. She told me she planned to leave me two years ago, and she said nasty things about my children." This was Lonnie's third marriage. As we talked, I felt led to show them Scriptures about repentance, confession, and forgiveness. I could see that his wife was in distress but really didn't know what to do. I also sensed that despite Lonnie's strong words earlier, he really didn't want a third marriage to go belly-up. As we talked, his wife asked for forgiveness about the things she said that had hurt him. Immediately, Lonnie granted it. Often it doesn't happen this way; many times forgiveness is a process one must meditate on, talk through, and finally reject or accept. It is a choice each person must make-a choice that comes only through the supernatural power of Christ within. "Well, I don't really want a divorce; I want help," Lonnie finally said. "I feel like a scared little boy inside. I'm afraid other will laugh at me. I don't know to receive or give love. I need help." This admission led to Lonnie and me meeting one hour per week in a counseling/discipleship (counseling is just intense discipleship) relationship. Since that day he chose to forgive Jane, we've talked about many issues in his life, and I've shown him appropriate Scriptures. Amazingly, he can now pray with his family, and the love of Christ is healing his shattered heart. I'm specifically showing Lonnie who he is in Christ, and he is maturing as a believer. He feels a new power to love, and his wife has told me he's a new man under their old roof. In this subject of choices, you can see that Lonnie made a conscious choice in this situation. He chose to forgive. He chose to be vulnerable and ask for help. As a result, the Lord is meeting his needs in ways Lonnie never believed were possible. He recently said to me, "I have learned that marriage is a holy trio with God at the center." I have seen him move from that "scared little boy" to becoming a decisive person who wants to live for the Lord and serve Him in his work, his home, and his church. In counseling people like this, I have seen that much of our misery or blessing n life comes through our choices. Wrong choices eventually lead to dire consequences. Right choices lead to God's blessing in your life, even if that blessing brings with it other problems. Lonnie chose to let God's fruit come into his life by simply following God's principles for life. It's often as hard choice, but when thought through, when one seeks God, it's possible to turn as life around in radical ways. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Learning to Watch and Pray

As believers we have a real choice to stop and pray when events churn out of control. Kent is a perfect example of this problem. When he arrived at my office he was more than simply troubled; he was afraid for his life. He had drifted away from the Lord through neglecting prayer and the Bible. Saved as a child, he knew the Lord was real, but because he was not grounded in a good church, he didn't grow as a believer. When he met Sue in college, he was swept away with her sweet charm. The fact that she was an unbeliever didn't deter Kent from pursuing her with all his heart. One year after the were married her uncle offered Kent a "job" with the "firm" he worked for. Over the next five years Kent made over $20,000.00 per week as a major drug distributor. He also became involved in money laundering; his keen mind and expert administrative skills made him a natural for such "work." As the money rolled in, Kent purchased a major nightclub and rode in a stretch limousine. At times, he felt grieved in his spirit; he responded by drinking and engaging in a sexual affair. At that point his marriage began to fall apart. Late one night Sue tried to take her life, and Kent began to wake up and took a look at his life. Meanwhile, a godly woman took an interest in Sue and invited her to a ladies' Bible study. In time Sue received the Lord. One evening as he was traveling home, the police pulled Kent's car over. He was arrested on suspicion of committing murder when the gun used in the murder was traced to Kent. (Kent owned the weapon; it had been stolen from his home two days earlier.) Kent said, "That night was the longest night of my life. Around 2 A.M. I began to pray. I hadn't prayed in years, not seriously anyway, but that night I told God if He would come to my rescue I would turn my life over to Him, lock, stock, and barrel." Which, in Kent's world, could be taken literally! God heard Kent's prayer that night. Through an anonymous tip the real killer was arrested. The new suspect confessed to stealing the gun and using it to take a life. Kent was free. God chose to answer this sinner's prayer. And Kent did recommit his life to Christ. Kent's story is highly dramatic, involving much money and murder. God, of course, can answer any sinner's prayer-deliver him or her from any problem, big or small. When he was released from jail, Kent told Sue of his prayer and God's answer. She wept as she explained to him that she was now a believer in Christ. Within days Kent approached his "employer" and told him he was leaving the "firm." This was extremely dangerous, as anyone would understand who has read books like John Grisham's The Firm. Within hours, a bullet periced the windshield of Sue's car (a warning shot to get Kent's attention) while she was driving. A message left on his answering machine informed Kent that he needed to rethink what he was doing, "or else." As I prayed with Kent, completely at a loss as to how to counsel him, the verse "Agree with your adversary quickly" (see Matthew 5:25) came into my mind. I said to Kent, "Go to your employer and ask him what it will take to be released." Kent wanted out desperately but didn't want to jeopardize his family. So he visited his "boss" and laid out his situation. He shared Christ with him, he asked what it would take to get out alive. His boss made it simple: "Everything you own." Kent swallowed a large dose of pride and financial worry and decided God's way was better than his way. He signed over the club, his home, and several other investments. His "boss" allowed him to keep all household furnishings and one car. Kent told me, "I signed over in excess of three million dollars in property, but I gained my freedom." I was reminded of the verse "What will a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Mark 8:37). Today Kent and Sue live in a three-bedroom home. Their two children are well adjusted. Kent and Sue walk with the Lord and serve Him faithfully. Their story in its entirety would make a great book. Kent says when the time is right, he wants to write it. For now, though, he is "content in the Lord." What was Kent's sin? He had vexed his righteous soul because he was in the midst of a group of wicked people. The devil's lie was "Kent, you're a smart, gifted man You can have anything you put your mind to." The truth answered this though with a question: "But at what price?" What price are you willing to pay to gain freedom, truth, love, peace? Aren't they worth "everything," as Kent discovered? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing how to Respond

We have a real choice in how we respond to the daily situations of life. Many Christians exclude God and make terrible decisions when the circumstances of life intrude on them. Our lives can go from wondrous to disastrous in a moment, and we do not respond well. A parent has died. You've lost your job. You've learned a good friend is dying of cancer. How do you respond to such tough developments? Many Christians choose to respond by blaming God. They feel that God has "messed up" their happy lives like some kind of divine Grinch. Thus, when they face trouble, they have a true choice: to go God's way or their own. Some people refuse to go God's way, saying, "His way isn't practical" or, "It doesn't make sense." Some argue, "God's way is too hard." Thus, they reject God's directive. They exclude or ignore God in their decision making. You can be sure Satan will jump in at that point with his own alternative. How can we move in the direction of choosing God's answers for our problems? Through doing two things: knowing God and talking to Him daily. Almost every client I have counseled did not know who God truly, is. The enemy had distorted their perception of who God is; he still does that. In fact, every lie of the enemy is a distortion of either God's Word or His person. Furthermore, most clients I've counseled did not have a prayer life. People who drift away from God are never prayer warriors. They have replaced dependence on God with self-sufficiency, thinking they are masters of their own destinies-a big lie of the enemy that leads to prayerlessness. To counteract such lies, I try to help counselees build into their lives two resources: (1) a knowledge of who: God truly is, and (2) a dynamic prayer life. As we lay this twofold foundation, God fortifies us for the day of battle. The harsh situation you may be in may not be your choice; but your response is. The truth is that we have a choice about how we react in every situation. We can choose to trust God or blame Him; we can go His way our our way. But we are never "forced by circumstances" into some action. We can and must choose to trust God. Carol's problem reflects the unwillingness to let God control her life because she did not know Him well. She struggled with a sleeping disorder for twenty years and eventually ended up in a mental hospital, diagnosed as being schizophrenic. A doctor placed her on anti psychotic drugs, but after years of medication, another doctor said she was misdiagnosed; she had a bipolar dysfunction. When Carol changed churches, she learned her root problem might be spiritual. She told her minister about her treatments and the changed diagnosis. "My new pastor shared with me that mental illnesses may be real, but sometimes they are the results of harboring sin, bitterness, etc., in one's heart." At that point this pastor referred her to me. Carol waited several months for an appointment, and during that time the Lord began working in her life. Before her visit she sensed God leading her to a number of verses. One from Deuteronomy 10:12 was an eye-opener: "What does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul." During our first session, Carol was open and revealed her childhood experiences of sexual abuse. Carol felt justified anger toward the people who had hurt her and believed that anger, a form of revenge, was right. In the process of our sessions, God revealed this lie the Evil One had placed in her heart. At first, though, she struggled. Because of her childhood abuse, she felt a deep-seated anger toward God. In time, Carol forgave her mother and a number of other people. She repented of her anger and hatred toward those who had offended and abused her. And she repented of her anger toward God and for doubting God's willingness to keep His word. The morning after our session in which she'd expressed and done these acts, Carol told me "My time in the Word was sweet, God gave me a special verse. "Many a time they have afflicted me from my youth; yet they have not prevailed against me" (Psalm 129:2). The next week an issue between Carol and me came up. She felt I spent too much time teaching her about the issues of repentance and forgiveness and she became angry with me. That evening she attended a mid-week church service and heard her pastor say "When you are under pressure the real you comes out. Your choices reveal what you really believe. True repentance results in a change of heart, not just some modification of your behavior." Carol sat there stunned. Had the real Carol shown herself in her seeking to perform for God? Was doing the things to impress Him what really mattered her her? Was control the thing she always had to have in order to feel safe? That night, Carol repented of wanting to control every situation. She sensed God's forgiveness and for the first time she felt truly free. She had learned to accept doing things God's way, not her way. Later she wrote me about what she was learning through her times in the Scriptures and prayer: "God is teaching me how to die to self and surrender to Christ daily, I am learning in a new way that God is sovereign and in control....I have learned to allow Christ to live His life through mine. The Lord will continue to enable me to over come bitterness and anger in my life. Praise God, for only He could set me free. Carol saw for the first time that following God's way through her Scripture and prayer time fulfilled her. By submitting to Him, she would enter into His plan and live out the reality of life in Christ that she had always wanted. I marvel that God's Word and power can cause such amazing changes in as person's life. Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Choosing our Focus

We have the responsibility to choose our focus. We can choose to focus on others. Satan desires that we focus on ourselves. In spiritual warfare, we often find the battle ground to be the temptation to please ourselves. Kevin began talking before he came through the doorway. "My wife is bitter toward me to the point where she even quit reading her Bible." As his story fell from his lips, his previous statement began to make sense. A job transfer sent him to a state where his wife for years had longed to live. He was the first to relocate to the area and he began looking for a house to buy. He found what he thought was the perfect house; he had his wife fly in to look at the home, and she fell in love with it. In her mind she had already arranged the furniture when he suddenly had a change of mind. He decided it would be better to rent a house and look around for a while. After a year in a rental home the house sold out from under them. For the next three months they split up the family with relatives while Kevin looked for another rental house. As Kevin and I talked, what became most apparent was the fact that he had raised expectations in his wife's heart and then shattered them. He had "sold" her on the idea that his dream house would be where they would live out their lives. I quoted the proverb "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Proverbs 13:12). I also told him that he was responsible to honor his wife. In this case, his refusal to provide a decent home to live in was dishonoring to her. As I spoke, the Lord brought to his mind other times he had done the same thing. His marriage was marked by broken promises and looking out for himself. The Holy Spirit led Kevin to repent of his sin and later to ask his wife's forgiveness. They went house hunting the next week. She is now a content woman in a house that meets her family's needs. He is a happy husband who has the respect of his wife and family. The enemy's lie was "You can change your mind and she will understand. It won't matter what you promised her; after all, you are her leader, and your wishes rule." God's truth is "He who swears to his own hurt and does not change...shall never be moved" )Psalm 15:4-5). Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.

Real Choices in the Real Battle

Willie approached me one day as I was leaving my office and said, "Please, we have to talk." One glance told me he hadn't slept well for days. His face was drawn and his eyes were bloodshot. As soon as we closed my office door, Willie's story unfolded. His father and he had begun a construction company fifteen years earlier. The father was to be the senior partner, but, Willie noted, "everything would be split fifty-fifty. I have worked hard and the company has prospered. The net worth is over a half-million dollars." Then, Willie explained, financial upheaval came, shaking the company and their relationship. "My father has recently made some bad investments and he is on the verge of bankruptcy. Last week he informed me that I was fired and the construction company was his sole property. You see, selling the company is the only way he can remain financially solvent. The real kicker is, he not only wants my half of the company, but he also wants the registration to several pieces of equipment that I bought out of my pocket. He now denies that we ever agreed on the partnership. He insists that I was only his employee, and he is threatening a lawsuit if he doesn't get the equipment." It's amazing what parents will sometimes do to their children. But it's not uncommon. Willie continued, "I am so angry, I kicked my dog and yelled at my wife and children. I can't sleep and I feel like choking my father. What can I do?" Willie was at a crossroads and had to make a choice. He was leaning toward hating his father; already he felt estranged. In his heart he felt his attitude was wrong. But what could he do? Willie had recognized a biblical principle: Choices begin with our thoughts. Evil always plants its seeds in the thoughts, then nurtures them so that they take root in the heart (James 1:13-15). What we think about, what we meditate on, what we dwell on will determine what choices we make at crucial points during the day. Jesus Himself warned of the relationship. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication's, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit..." (Mark 7:21-22). How does that work in our lives? If we (as men) look on women, imagining them with their clothes off (or even think of tearing off their clothing) and ravishing them, it's quite possible we could make the damaging choice to commit rape or adultery, look at pornographic images, or even treat our wives as lust objects. Similarly, if a woman envies another woman's fancy clothing, possessions, or attractive husband, this could lead to hatred, ill will, theft, and thoughts of adultery. Such devices are the tactics of the enemy. He will do anything to build a stronghold in our minds through our thinking. What choices, then, do we have when we begin to have selfish thoughts? How can we respond and resist temptations that come from within and are fed by Satan? That, in essence, was Willie's question. The first choice is to seek and heed wise counsel. We are not at the mercy of fate, or ill circumstances, or even our own stupidity. No, we can choose, when difficulties strike, to seek out help from relatives, church members, and others. This is an amazingly helpful resource that many people overlook. They say things like, "I have no choice about what to do." Or, "I'm caught! I can't go any way that is good!" But often, God opens up vistas we never considered, simply by our finding wise counselors-friends, pastors, or even actual counselors like myself. Rarely does God allow situations to come into our lives in which there are virtually no options. When Wille looked at me through bloodshot eyes and asked, "What can I do?" I admit that my first response to his predicament was to close my eyes and shake my head. This was difficult. Sitting up in my chair, I questions Willie on his ability to support his family. He was happy to report that the day after he was "fired" by his dad, he started another job with a ten-dollar-per-hour increase in pay. "How much are peace of mind and the ability to sleep worth to you, Willie?" "Priceless," he answered immediately. I thought of Willies buying equipment for the company and of his father threatening a lawsuit. Then I chose to remind Willie of the following words of Jesus: "If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also" ( Matthew 5:40). I explained that there has been misapplication and abuse of this verse, but I believed it applied in Willie's case. I even suggested that Willie sign over an extra trust to his father-which he said he no longer needed-to fulfill the "let him have your cloak also" part. Willie pondered, prayed, and then called his wife and explained the proposal. She wholeheartedly agreed this was God's will. Willie forgave his dad, repented of his anger and bitterness, and signed over the equipment. The peace of God poured into his heart, and the love of the Lord was reestablished in his life. Today Willie is happy, his wife and children live in a peaceful home, and even his dog is grateful. Willie's father's health broke in less than a year, and he is confined to a nursing home. What was the devil's lie in this situation? The great deceiver had said "Willie, fight for what is yours. You earned it. Don't back down; you have a right to be angry and bitter. Get your dad." In contrast, God's truth was "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:330. Willie confronted the temptation to "get" his dad. True, he has not regained the money he lost, but he has kept his peace, his joy, and his life, and his walk with God. What could be more precious than that? Dr. Ken Copley is available for counseling, conferences, and local church meetings.